Japan trip in summation: I'm humbled once again by the kindness we were shown, especially in Nose with Akira, Masami, and Mari. I can see how Steven can have a really fun time in Temma in Osaka and it makes me nostalgic for when I lived in Tokyo and also wish that standing bars were a big thing when I was there. The quality of life in Japan is the highest but then I also have to think if the average Japanese person is happy which then makes me think are we happy are any of us happy or are we all just ants with better or worse standards of living? Either way in either country I am lucky that I am not a salaryman. Leaving Japan really made me wonder what my life is for, why am i doing it, what am i even doing. What answer am I looking for? For the meaning of life? For an excuse to do what I want and be happy? As I said I know its not a fair comparison to look at your life on vacation and hold it up as an example of how your life could be, but I did this life, I did what Steven is doing and it was f'ing awesome. But I also didn't get to spend much time on my art. Let's not fool ourselves here though i'm a commercial artist, an illustrator in service to a client and or market forces. This vacation forced me to take a break and examine some things but I think I have more questions than I started with. Why can I not be happy. Does happiness look like living in Japan and discovering/learning/being frustrated by something new everyday? Can I have a moveable feast, a portable Japan that I carry in my heart in my daily life? In the least, this struggle means i'm alive and I can live with that.
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