#MERALD - Best Weekend Ever

So the whole reason I came to New York initially was because one of my best NY friends, Melissa asked me to go to her wedding and of course I said yes.  I've known Mel since 1999, since before even the first day of class at SUNY Albany.  I saw her with her mom at the registration office being mean to her mom and I looked at my mom like, don't worry mom I'll be sure to stay clear of that b!tch.  And then look what happened, 14 years later and we're the best of friends.

can I see a show of hands of who enjoys seeing bob's misfortunes?  anyone?  is it just me?  Bob, for some retarded reason booked his flight back to NYC from Europe days after mine so he had to travel and transfer in Berlin for like 44 hrs total and drop his stuff off at my friend's apartment and run directly to the LIRR train to the hamptons for the wedding.  Don't worry bob gets enjoyment out of my misfortunes too.  But I mean look at this photo, it's priceless. 

If there was ever a photo portrait of the Raish brothers that didn't turn you to stone because we are the Korean modern day male versions of medusa then this is it.  For some reason I love this brotherly photo even though it feels like "the death of two salesmen".  We got to the manor in Amagansett, East Hampton around midnight.  the place is huge, you'll see.  the groom Gerald and his college buddies were going at a game of modified beer pong super super seriously and asked if we wanted to play.  Wanting to be friendly I said sure, right bob?......bob?  bob was absolutely destroyed after 44 hrs of travel and being an insomniac.  He sank slowly into the shadows, his eyes white as a ghost.  We went upstairs to find our room and he almost started crying.  He was shaking on the bed, "I don't wanna play that game I don't wanna play that game don't make me play that game I don't wanna play that game".  I laughed at him super super super super super hard.  I said after you go to sleep in 10 minutes i'm gonna go downstairs and tell them that you called them all p*ssies and said they are playing Busch league beer pong and where they can find you if you they want to step up the the Ivy league (they actually did go to an ivy league and bob most def did not, and does not because he's still in school 10 years later).  Alternatively I told him the next day i would slip a note under each of their doors signed bob, that said essentially the same thing.  I am a good brother.  Bob went to sleep, but not without fear in his heart.

wedding day.  it was time to go to the ceremony, suddenly water came pouring from the ceiling.  some valve broke in the upstairs bride and groom's bathroom.  Bob ran upstairs.  Gerald the groom was in the bathroom trying to find the problem getting soaked, Mel the bride was too.  It was time to leave for the ceremony.  Then...Bob.  Naveen was doing her hair and heard from behind her "I'm just gonna take all my clothes off right now".  Bob did and in rushed bob.  I like to remember it as he was completely naked, hydroplaned across the tile floor on his belly, somehow hopped up onto the sink, slapped himself down belly first kamikaze style onto the gushing scalding hot water and plugged various other leaks with his fingers and toes, all while making that scrunched up bob face we all know.  He basically did do this, but it was all for naught.  Eventually the house manager came and turned off the water.  to burst your bubble bob did put on a pair of athletic shorts before he dived in.  lame bob, lame 

imagine the scenario from above in this here bathroom.  hahahahaha.  At least bob succeeded in getting the bride and groom out of there and taking the brunt of the disaster on his own sweet sweet flesh and saving the wedding day.  He scored 100 point with Sherry, mel's mom.  those should have been my points bob

Mel's friends aren't very subtle are they

this place had like 20 rooms

that's right naveen, when you roll with the raish brothers its laughs for days.  except for I couldn't get a good pic of us laughing, instead we all look awkward.  Well believe me we were laughed and i mean laughed!  And since when did Naveen get so hot?  I don't remember that going on in Albany.  I've known her almost as long as Mel, they were roommates. 

They got married here, at this courthouse.  if you want photos of the good stuff then please defer to the official wedding photographer's photos, i'm just playing catch as catch can so get off my back Mel.

the bride and groom

Bob holding small dogs for like the whole g damn weekend would be a re-occurring theme that would annoy the sh!t out of me all the way to the end, you'll see.  Sophie, mel's dog

I told Naveen this could be our wedding day exactly 1 year from now if she played her cards right.  I don't know if she accepted. 

arts and crafts time.  i was given the task of making "the grill gatsby" sign for the great gatsby themed night.  This was the last cognitive photo of the day basically.

Korean Micheal Bolton?

The reception, sometime approaching schwasted o'clock

flash forward to sometime after 3 or 4am and this is the only photo from the whole night on my camera.  earlier that afternoon after the wedding ceremony people when back to the mansion to chill out, relax, drink beer or whatever and get ready for the reception at a restaurant somewhere in east hampton.  It was open bar of course so all the young folk got super sloshed, myself included.  We stayed at the bar until closing time.  Mel got carried on a chair, a game of spin the bottle broke out on the dance floor, everyone was schwasted.  We all went back to the house.  The "adults" all stayed somewhere else in the hamptons while all the young folk stayed in this huge 20 bedroom manor stocked with copious amounts of booze, a hot tub, a pool.  It was a rager.

oh hey guys what are you doing? can you not?