Guangxi Trip - Day 5 - 23 hour train ride

The bus at the Yao village wasn't at 9:30 like the said it was at 10:30.  this meant that i wouldn't make the train back to beijing in time.  they kept saying it only takes 2 hrs not 3 hrs to get back to Guilin.  I thought there is no way that is true but they said it last night and others said it today so i guess its true.  it did NOT take 2 hrs.  it took 3.  why did the bus driver as soon at we hit the outskirts of Guilin start driving 20 miles an hour?  buses were passing us, scooters were passing us.  i was sweating, only 15 min till the train leaves, what was the g-damn driver doing!!! he was driving so fast the whole way, then litearlly 20 miles an hour.  this continued for 17 more minutes resulting in me running into the station and missing my train by 2 minutes.  I was in murder mode.  the station people kept saying you're too late.  steam was coming out my ears.  When things like this happen jason usually stands around a little and pushes people to their limit and then a lot of times something favorable happens.  this time they kept saying "tui piao" and i didnt know what that meant and was getting more p!ssed so i said i don't know what tui piao means.  then they got some guy to come along and help me refund my ticket and i ended up being able to get one for an hr later because they kept saying i couldnt speak chinese.  so i guess tui piao means refund.  Also i asked the guy the day before when i bought my tix back to beijing if there were any other times and he said no.  WTF!  if there were other train times i wouldn't have had to wake up with the roosters.  Anyway disaster averted and lesson probably not learned again.  Although wat is the lesson this time?  last time in korea it was don't get drunky korean style until 6 am and miss your flight.  but this time i dont know.

they were selling these on the platform next to the train. 

pretty awesome idea.  the food was not that good though.  but still awesome idea.  there was rice underneath.

I HATE BABIES!!!! WHY WHY WHY!!!! A 23 HR TRAIN RIDE AND I HAVE TO GET STUCK WITH THIS!!!!!! I WANT TO CRUSH HIS SKULL!!!!! I AM COMPLETELY DESTROYED AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS SLEEP BUT THIS LITTLE JERK IS ALL UPSET ABOUT HIS EXISTANCE AND INABILITY TO COMMUNICATE HIS GRIEVANCES TO OTHERS!!!!!  well at least for now i hate babies.  All of you out there go ahead and laugh it up.  it is fitting that i get stuck with this though.  This in turn had me flopping around in my bed, spasming with anger, thusly making me a giant baby.  I should have fallen from the top bunk on the floor of the compartment and shat myself and started crying so i could get some crackers too.

a hard sleeper train car has 6 beds per compartment.  its hard to see but there is one more bed on the top.  you cannon sit up.  so i had to be in this contorted position to use my laptop.

so comfortable.  i could only use it for about 20 min at a time before some part of my body would tweak out.  in the guide book it says this is a 28 hr train ride.  so when the ticket lady came around at the end of the ride i didn't know what was going on cuz it was like 5 hrs too early to be there.  i had taken to using my laptop "doggy style" on the bed so my arse was facing out, and the middle bunk it right at eye level so she got a nice eye full.  it reminds me of that scene in "the Truman Show" starring jim carrey where he is gardening on his knees and the camera is positioned behind his arse and he keeps looking back at his wife, annoyed.  it was just like that scene.  anyway she just kept grunting and giving me a dirty look and i was like WHAT DO YOU WANT, and then i saw she wanted everyones tickets.  i gave her some give eyes and an unhappy face and pulled my wallet out in an exaggerated manner and gave it to her with a big Jim Carrey like smile to be a jerk.  she was not amused. neither was i.  nothing was accomplished.  I will not miss the service in china.

me and one guy were the only ones out of 6 in the compartment that were not party of that hideious babies family.  he bought these star fruits and gave me one.  first time eating it like an apple.  i didnt know what i was doing and they said you eat it just like that.

are these nuclear power plant thingys?

this girl had this look on her face the whole time.  she never said a word for 23 hrs.  she was dressed like a korean pop singer from the early 2000s.

the hiking around and stepping on tons of rocks put holes in my shoes.  which were quickly filled with urine and other stuff when i would go to the bathroom on the train.  you know what the bathrooms are like.  so these shoes are properly p!ss soaked now.  they literally smell, i can smell them myself, so that means others can def smell them. 

the highlight of the ride.  this grandma's "EUN DMC" shirt.  it says "MIANI LOVE LIKE" "EUN DMC" "MIX LIKE GRAMNMASTER".  HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA.  Old school hip hop pioneers Run DMC, i think this is a rip off of their crown royal album logo maybe.  anyway this is an awesome example of chinese people ripping off stuff totally not relevant to chinese people let alone to their target customer and then slapping it on a shirt.  unless grandma has been down since '83. 

So that's it!  Awesome trip and high recommended.  I'm gonna say it has been the highlight of my time in China.  Nice Ending to my time in China.

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