The Man Files - Part 1

This is the first of what was supposed to be a 7 day series of learning how to do various manly things. "How to be a Man" was supposed to have us riding the preverbal shotgun with our dad, Bob Raish Jr., for 7 days of testosterone, posturing, machismo, and general knowledge that every man is supposed to know but doesn't because we are generation Y and we are a bunch of big baby man adults that are always spoiled for choice and have had the luxury of living a soft life. Do you think Bob Raish Jr. had problems like wether or not this cheese is from free range, grass fed cows? or what he's gonna do about that scandalous picture he got tagged in on facebook? The changing landscape of society has rendered us way less manly than our fathers. That's why we couldn't even complete this blog series. There were several factors that de-railed our plan. 1. Bob refused to shoot a gun. 2. NY winters are not so nice (this week it was 19 F/-7C in the daytime) so this made us think twice about doing any outdoor activities. 3. We got really sleepy and lazy. Because of this you won't see any shooting various guns, changing a tire, snaring a small animal, changing oil, scaling a fish, setting a bone, gutting an animal, starting a fire, hot wiring a car, syphoning gas, etc....

This is our dad, Bob Raish Jr. He served in the US army, was president of the sportsman's club (gun shooting club) in our town at one point, annually hunts, guts, and hangs North American White-tailed deer, remodeled our whole house, drives a 4 wheeler, had to sell his Harley because of his stupid kids, owns the full range of power tools, and has a full mustache and beard. I would say that is pretty manly. That is why it is so funny because we are the opposite of that, especially Bob (vegetarian, left wing, pacifist, 140 lbs). Our dad's various manly professions have been electrician, electrical inspector, and electrical trades instructor. He loses points in this category because these jobs are skilled instead of being stereotypically manly like smashing rocks or something. but they are still miles more manly than an illustrator with dainty soft artist hands or a mathematician with dainty soft math hands.

This is bob. just look at him. We're in trouble. he's equipped with some of the tools of man. a staple gun, a tape measure, a pencil, and needle nose pliers.

this is me trying to lift a huge entertainment center and it going nowhere. remember fellas, don't lift with your back now.

So today's "How to be a Man" project is a speaker wire repair operation. The dog chewed through the speaker wires so they have to be spliced together again and installed nicely into some kind of special speaker wire connection wall socket. Typically the domain behind a TV/entertainment center with all the thousands of wires and plugs is the domain of the man. Good luck with that Bob.

down to the basement we go, another typical domain of the man, to follow the trail of speaker wire.

i had to crawl in this creepy crawl space once when i was little, for some home improvement project and saw the red eyes of rats peering back at me. awesomeness.

a hole had to be drilled through the floor with a power drill to accommodate the speaker wires.

there's nothing in this picture Jason you might be saying. and yes there isn't. i have taken a picture of faint sound. how many of you out there know that part of your job as a son is to wait attentively on the other side of a wall to see if you "hear something/see something/feel something" while your dad is on the other side with power tools or fishing something between the dry wall and insulation and 2x4's. This is usually followed by faint scratching and your dad getting really mad.

real men bleed on the job.

finding studs in the wall. we didn't learn this skill, i'm just frontin'

cutting drywall. this step has serious implications if you F-up

many skipped steps later and here is the final product, the speaker wire connector wall outlet thing. We basically stood around for an hour after being bored after 2 minutes while our dad did everything.

another manly activity, sharpening knives on a stone and leather belt with honing oil and then cutting the hair off your arm to test the sharpness. I don't even have hair on my arm.

another manly activity, grilling steak. seasoning optional but welcome.

So we didn't really learn that much because we're generation Y and have the attention span of a 6 year old at best. So i hope you will enjoy the rest of our examples of manlines as opposed to how to be a man series.


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